Popular culture frequently portrays the midlife crisis as a dramatic, even humorous phase – perhaps buying a new sports car or leaving a long-term partner for a much younger one – but the reality is far more nuanced.
WORDS Claire Vanessa
A midlife crisis is often triggered by significant life events coinciding with middle age, such as children leaving home, a major health scare, job loss or the death of a parent. These events highlight our mortality and the fleeting nature of time, emphasising that life moves quickly and the future is uncertain. Common symptoms include questioning life choices and feeling a strong urge for change, whether by switching careers, ending long-term relationships, or making impulsive purchases.
Feelings of restlessness and boredom are also common when previously fulfilling activities no longer bring joy. There is often a strong fear of ageing and losing youthfulness or an obsession with legacy and nostalgia. People in a midlife crisis may also struggle with depression and anxiety, sleep or eating disorders, and addiction or bad habits. This stage of life may also produce an urge to revisit past relationships and reconnect with old friends or former lovers. It often leads to loved ones feeling alienated, as if they don’t know you any more.
While often viewed as negative, a midlife crisis is actually a period of growth and transformation. By confronting fears, regrets, and unmet desires, individuals can emerge with a renewed sense of purpose and clarity – provided they are able to face the mirror and honestly answer important questions like:
- “What are my priorities?”
- “What am I missing most in my life right now – time, money, health, love, friends, purpose?”
- “Who am I truly, if not defined by roles like mother, wife or CEO?”
- “Is there a new experience I would love to try, whether travelling, starting a new job, meeting new people, or engaging in volunteer work?”
- “Who are the people I need to see more of, and are there people I should see less of because they drain me?”
- “Is there anything I can do to make my relationship better fit my needs?”
- “How can I take better care of my body, mind and overall health? “
Seeking support from a professional can be invaluable, as can sharing your experiences with loved ones and asking for their understanding. Taking care of your physical and mental health is essential – clarity cannot be achieved without proper sleep, nutrition and regular exercise. Forgive yourself for past mistakes – recognise that the person you were did the best they could at the time – and remember to celebrate your achievements and be proud of the path you’ve walked.
By embracing the journey, seeking support and focusing on positive change, you can navigate your midlife crisis with resilience, emerging stronger, more fulfilled and better equipped to face the beautiful future ahead.
Claire Vanessa is a life coach and holistic psychotherapist.
