Originally from the UK, Nick Darker lived in many countries before settling in Chabouco four years ago. He has been writing poetry for many years but has found new inspiration in the Algarve. He has written a series of poetry under the heading of “Animal Crackers”, with some critical support from friends.
If you wish to submit a poem to Tomorrow magazine please send it to the editor.
To Jasper
A dog’s life
When I wake up in the morning the people are still snoring
So I creep into the bedroom even though it’s really boring
My nose is moist and questing and my whiskers are erect
As I push gently through the bedclothes and I touch their face direct
They snort and fumble blindly as I give them full attention
Oh Jasper will you go away! Or we’ll put you in detention!
I drop a poisonous doggy fart so they figure out the issue
And on the lawn below the house, I start to poo, sans tissue!
The day begins to brighten with the filling of the dish
A pile of canine cereals and a chunk of yummy fish
Well just a moment later, I yowl to get the lead
And Jerome runs out along the road to do his master deed
I do pretend the morning walk is what I really need
But frankly there are better walks but how to make him heed?
The perfect doggy trot should have a stick as well as ball
A few slow hounds to chase around while frantic owners call
But then all done we head for home
And supper is prepared!
Woof woof we shout and tongues fall out
The evening meal is declared!
Although the humans cook for hours then slowly eat all night
For me I have no problem to gulp it down – that’s right!
Then I crawl into my doggy bed
And growl at phantom frights
While the humans play their silly games
I slowly snooze all night …
ADANA dog
Some sights are truly shocking
Too disgusting to recall
But the story of the tossed-out dog
It does surpass them all!
The dog was deeply pregnant
When the owner tossed her out
Just thrown alone beside the gate –
A heinous act, no doubt
The owner should be forced to roast
Inside the fires of Hell!
Such awful and so shameful acts
Need justice, fierce, as well.
The dog was dumped beside the track
Her pregnancy now due
The pups were wiggling from her womb
Can this foul tale be true?
Alone, distressed, in constant pain
This canine mum just moaned
Two lads then found her, smashed and sore
Her cries were clearly groans
They searched for further adult help
They feared her gone forever
But tiny whimpers gave then hope
Her breaths as weak like feather
The helpers came with tender hands
And lifted her with care
They whispered gently “to the vet”
They scarcely touched her hair!
The vet worked hard and lovingly,
His hands so full of zeal
Alas the pups could not be saved
But the dog will likely heal!
The turtles of Tiwi
The turtles of Tiwi are really quite sublime –
The mothers swim across the seas, so clearly in their prime
They crawl right up the sandy beach and dig deep in the ground
They lay around a hundred eggs all squidgy, soft and round
For sixty days the eggs lie safe, and then they’re bursting out
The hatchlings totter, then they run, it looks like quite a rout!
They head straight down right to the sea, the crabs all lurking near
The ocean’s not much better, the snakes and fish are here
Their enemies with hungry jaws do leave a dreadful toll,
So few survive the first few days, they rarely meet their goal …
That’s why so many eggs are laid: the mother comes again
She dumps another pile of eggs, what effort for what gain?
The answer is that Nature, cruel, thinks for the longer run
The hatchlings may perish but the species lives on.
Nipper the rat
Nipper the Rat was not very nice!
The sort who bit not once, but twice!
He lived with his family, some fifty by far
All squeezed together in a clapped-out old car
He prowled through the night, he hid by the day
A hunter so beastly, he pounced on his prey!
His fur was all mottled, with scars round his jaws
He limped a bit slowly, he’d lost a few claws.
He ate all the rubbish he found round his lair
The rats grew quite fat as they nibbled with care …
All creatures around him shrank small as could be
They knew he would chew them, with no sympathy!
He prospered, he grew, his teeth stayed so smart
That even the cat learned to keep far apart …
Then one day our Nipper decided to act!!
He’d pounce on the pussy; he’d make her react!
He hid by the wreck of his crumbling domain
And watched as the cat crept forth once again …
Then leaped through the air and bit at her neck
She shrieked and contorted as she rolled on the deck
They fought for a while, as wild creatures do
Then glared at each other, deep-breathing anew …
So Nipper declared that the cat had to leave
No presence, no paw, or she’d so much grieve!
The cat spat and hissed while she thought what to do
Then turned and escaped and pondered how few
Her famous nine lives remained of her life:
She wasn’t so keen to continue this strife!
Now Nipper, triumphant, retired to his base
And lived with his chums while re-living the chase!
Pippa the Pig – poem
This is the tale of Pippa the Pig
Though at first really small, she ended quite big!
She lived by herself in a grubby old sty
And loved looking out at a patch in the sky.
Now Pippa was hungry, she lived for a munch
The farmer had made her a pail for her lunch.
The bell was first sounded,
Then all pigs would thirst
But Pippa, so nimble, was always the first!
She’s slurp through the slops and the smelly old bread
Then belch rather loudly and head for her bed.
Alas she grew daily, an inch or so more –
She had to be slender to get through her door.
One day a bit later, she gobbled her tuck
Then squeezed at the door frame and came fully stuck
She grunted and hollered, the fire brigade came
But push her or pull her, it wasn’t a game!
So tired and so weary she couldn’t get in
And she drowsed through the night and wished to be thin!
The farmer thought Ah!! (he said with a smirk)
So he fetched his prize boar who started to work
The boar was quite busy, and Pippa was done
She didn’t quite know if this was called fun!
The farmer said sternly, your sty is too small
You’ll now have to stay in the barn by the hall
The barn was quite spacious, well sized for her tum
She used her time wisely, for the piglets to come …
She reckoned a dozen, with a squeal then a shout
As all of her babies were gently eased out.
Too bad she was hungry, she needed her feed
So she slurped and she gobbled with gluttonous greed
Her piglets all prospered, so healthy they grew
Not guessing they’d end up as bacon or stew!
So Pippa, no time-waster, ate six meals a day!
Grew fatter and fatter as she lay on the hay.
Her body expanded, grew tight as a drum,
Ballooned like a Zeppelin from her nose to her bum …
And then, strange to say, she floated up high
And whizzed all aloft while she flew in the sky!
On spying her farm, as she flew in the air
Said: “I wish I’d been thinner, then I’d still live there!”
