In earlier years, it was a morning ritual. I’d get out of bed, stand up, put my legs together and look down to see if I had ‘space’ between my thighs – that coveted thigh gap.
Over my life, I’ve been hefty and I’ve been skinny, but always, I kept an eye on the gap. When I didn’t have one, I felt fat and ashamed. When I had one, I told myself it wasn’t enough. I’d bend down, pull the fat back from the front of my legs, and imagine how much better it could look.
Believe me, my skin crawls just saying that out loud. But that’s the point of this self-imposed experiment. I’m airing these thoughts to confront them, challenge their grip, and maybe inspire others to question their own internal scripts.
While I don’t do the morning assessing anymore, I still scan the mirror, eyes darting to my thighs. That little perverse ritual got a well-deserved kick recently when I joined group weightlifting – and realised I’d have to say goodbye to the gap.
Liberation from the thigh gap
Enter Claudia, our petite, hard-bodied, and relentlessly upbeat instructor, who casually shattered the thigh gap myth by noting that muscle – yep, the very stuff we’re building – will eventually “fill it in.”
It was a day I remember well in that, at first, I was startled by the thought of letting go of this shame goblin that had subtly kept me fixated on my perceived flaws. But then, later, I watched myself gaining ease with the idea that fitness meant no thigh gap (for me anyway).
As a woman whose sense of identity has been closely tied to her appearance, this shift has been incredibly liberating. It was one of those sneaky little shame rituals I didn’t realise had me in its grip. Like a lot of women (and, let’s be honest, plenty of men), I’ve let my mirror (subconsciously) dictate my worth for years.
I consider this kind of awareness real progress. The journey is about catching those old, self-critical thoughts we’ve carried for years and finally choosing to let them go. It’s about redefining beauty and health on our own terms.
Becca Williams is an emotions therapist and clinician who helps people free themselves from emotional burdens, traumas, and limiting beliefs to live more fulfilling lives. Contact her at becca@emotionallib.com
